


Alarmy One Off

by Nessatugg



Category: Splatoon, Splatoon Manga - Fandom, coroika - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-17 10:53:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21053192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nessatugg/pseuds/Nessatugg
Summary: Aloha and Army hang out for the day!Just a little one off for fun





	Alarmy One Off

Without a single thought in his head, without any doubt or guilt, without a second of hesitation.. Aloha pinned Army to the wall. It wasn’t very comfortable for either of them considering when you don’t think, you don’t aim and when you don’t aim, you end up with your hand pressed against someone else’s chest and not the wall. The other hand was on the wall at least..

“Aloha, I must ask you to remove yourself immediately,” Army demanded a lot calmer than expected. Perhaps calm wasn’t the right term.. maybe angry and embarrassed and flustered all at once drained his mind of feeling anything and the calmness was the only thing he could muster.

Aloha didn’t really know what to think of the situation either. He looks like he’s trying to pin someone else but Army got stuck being the wall... Aloha was even staring ahead instead of at Army, he hadn’t really started thinking again. Though his mind managed some words, “In history books we evolved from sea dwellers, but we can’t swim now, how does that make sense?”

“Aloha, you can just ask me that without pinning me to a wall.”

“Well that wasn’t what I meant to ask but then it was on my mind and I already messed up this whole thing so I decided going with the flow was the best choice at this point,” Aloha explains as his mind slowly comes back into reality.

“Let me go, Aloha,” Army told him again in the same tone. Aloha lifts his hand and places it on the wall beside Army like he had intended to in the first place. Now he could look him in the eye. The unreasonable amount of focus on Aloha’s face didn’t tell Army anything about his situation, this isn’t something he’d find in his manual and maybe he should write it down...

Aloha opens his mouth to talk but nothing comes out like he’s really pondering what he should say. Deciding on the words, “Okay but really, what’s up with that?” 

Understanding he’s not getting out of this unless he satiates Aloha’s wandering mind, Army answers, “The ink in our bodies is too dense and our skin is too thin, with the pressure of water added in, we basically pop like a balloon. The reason our skin is so thin is so we can become squids at will. Speaking of..” Army takes his chance to become a squid and slither out of Aloha’s trap.

Aloha accepts Army’s escape and leans on the wall so he can face the orange inkling behind him. “So like, if we had super thick skin... we could swim.”

“You’d also have to learn to swim but technically yes,” Army says, “You could technically submerge yourself and not explode.”

“Then why doesn’t a shower kill us?”

“A strong enough shower head could splat you, but...” Army only then realized how stupid this conversation was getting.. “Aloha, I’m busy all the time and you’re holding me back for this?”

“Why do you think I pinned you down?” Aloha laughed, “You’d just tell me you’re busy and I’m a waste of time!”

The pink inkling definitely knew Army well.. and he probably also knew that Army wasn’t actually busy, just avoiding Aloha for his own sanity. “Okay fine,” Army growls, “What was your original question?” 

Aloha looked confused for a second until he remembered he even had a point in the first place. “Oh right! Spend time with me, I’m lonely.”

“I know damn well you’re not lonely.”

“Yeah but I’m bored and I always hang out with Diver and Straw and Octoglasses! Skull’s boring and Mask hates me more than you do! You’re my last hope!” Aloha dramatically poses as a damsel in distress as he pleads.

Army shakes his head and counter argues, “What about Rider?”

“Hung out with him last week, he was super grumpy the whole time. Lame to be around.”

“Blue team?”

“I party with them one time. That’s it. They’re obnoxious and I need some smart people in my life,” the pink squid sighs, still in his damsel in distress pose. He knew just how to get to Army.

‘Smart?’ Army thought to himself. He was rather flattered Aloha would consider him such a thing...

“Perhaps...” Army starts, Aloha knew he got em, “I could spare some time to be with you. We do have to become closer in order to be a functional te-“

“Cool! Alrighty!” Aloha interrupts as he slings an arm over Army’s shoulders. “What do you say we go to your place? It’s hot and muggy and gross out here anyway!”

It was really only then that Army processed they were in the square. They got a few looks but that wasn’t nearly enough to dissuade Aloha from his antics.

They boarded the subway and ended up at Army’s apartment somehow. Aloha was never told where Army lived, but of course he knew, why wouldn’t he, it’s Aloha.

Army unlocked his apartment door and Aloha took no time inspecting every corner of the place. He was known for being fast.. but even Army couldn’t really process such speed.

Deciding quickly that the couch belonged to him, Aloha jumped onto it and stretched out. “Nice place! I should come here more often! ‘Specially since I live right across the street~” Aloha laughs as he gestures out the living room window to another apartment complex’s rear. There was a distinct balcony with hanging lights and colorful tiles on it that reminded Army of some music muffled in the distance just the other day.

...oh.

“That place is yours?!” Army asks, clearly baffled he hasn’t noticed up until now.

“Yeah! When I got on the train I forgot where we were going so I instinctively planned to go to my place, good thing you lead me to yours. Even I didn’t realize we were neighbors!” Aloha says. That makes Army feel a little better.. he spends plenty of time on his balcony directly facing Aloha’s that he’d think the pink squid would see him.

Aloha giggles a little to himself as he mentions, “Guess the reason I haven’t noticed is cause I always see you in your pajamas without your hat~” That’d explain it... 

Army can’t help the bit of orange blush covering his cheeks. “That’s not much of a big deal..” Army assures, “I don’t mind other squids seeing my tentacles, it’s simply a preference they don’t.”

“Well then show me!” Aloha teases.

Army approaches the couch and scoots Aloha’s feet away so he can sit. “You’ve already seen, why would I show you?”

“Caaause, you’re in your own home! Get comfy! Stay a while!” Aloha kicks off his shoes and tosses his hat next to them.

The orange inkling takes a moment to get over himself and decidedly takes off his parka and his beret. If he was getting comfy then he goes ahead and slips off his shoes and tie as well, getting up to put all of his items away. “Happy?” Army asks spitefully.

“Incredibly~” Aloha coos. He sits up and undoes his button up as well, earning an embarrassed glance from Army.

Aloha stands back up to stretch and lean on the couch as he asks, “So what are we gonna do?”

‘He didn’t have a plan?!’ Army internally yells. In his panic, Aloha slinks behind him and touches his tentacles in a ponytail. That was enough to make the orange squid freeze up.

“It’s been so long since I’ve had this hairstyle.. Maybe we should get you a haircut!” Aloha suggests.

“No! I like my tentacles as is!” Army growls.

“Fine fine. You don’t look too bad like this anyway,” Aloha says with a bit of a laugh, “though you should grow out your lil dudes a bit!” He pulls on Army’s four small tentacles at the bottom of his hairline a little which inevitably makes Army turn around to face the other.

“I’m fine with it as it is!” Army announces in a way that directly conflicts his actions. His face is a bright orange and he looks like he’s one degree away from melting into a puddle of ink. “You’re standing too close for comfort, at least allow me some space.”

“Sure thing, boss,” Aloha takes a step back but still reaches to touch Army’s ponytail. He manages to pull the hair tie out and looks over the orange inkling now with his tentacles down. “I kinda like it like that! A nice androgynous feel!”

“My ‘feel’ isn’t meant to be cute or charming or androgynous, it’s meant to be like a sergeant! Normally the army wouldn’t even let you have your tentacles as long as I do!” Army argues.

“Then why not chop it all off?” Aloha asks, knowing that he got him.

Army’s blush only gets deeper as he looks to the ground and admits, “I like having my tentacles out..”

“Becaaause?”

“Because it’s cu-“ Army cuts himself off with an angered grumble, “I don’t need to explain myself! I’m fully aware I don’t run the actual army so I have my own rules set!”

Aloha laughs and twirls around to look through the kitchen, leaving Army to shakily try and find another hair tie to put his tentacles back up. Excitedly, Aloha turns back to Army with a pack of popcorn and asks, “Can we watch a movie?!”

“You seem to be the one running this party.. I’m in your hands.” Army mumbles. He quickly turned to look at Aloha in realization of what he said. He really just put his day and decisions into this party animal’s hands... Although, he wasn’t sure how else this day could go once he said he’d spend time with Aloha.

Aloha’s devilish grin was scarier from the side, he didn’t even look at Army he was so excited. He took out two bags of popcorn and started one in the microwave. “Then let’s watch a movie! Ya got any movie you’d want to watch? Maybe somethin you already have? I can always hop over to my place to pick up a disk,” Aloha gestures generally toward the window as he was too focused on watching the bag of popcorn get bigger.

Army goes to his living room to see what movies he has that Aloha may have interest in. “I don’t have a lot.. What kind of movie are you thinking? An action?”

“I have a soft spot for bad romantic comedies but action’s okay,” the pink squid laughs.

Army... Army had a soft spot for rom coms... He was really having trouble figuring out if Aloha had found the movies earlier as he was inspecting the place or if he’s genuinely interested. The microwave obnoxiously beeping made the orange inkling jump out of his thoughts and continue rummaging through his small movie collection.

“I have a few..” Army admits. Aloha puts another bag of popcorn in the microwave and sprints to look at the movies.

Aloha picks one up and laughs, “Geez, you like the rom coms that take themselves seriously.. Honestly those are even funnier. Pick out a favorite, I’d be down to have a whole movie night!”

There’s no way Aloha was just making up his appreciation for bad comedy... Army had never found something so stupid to be so charming about that party animal. He kind of thought he had lost it a little, like something otherworldly was telling him that Aloha was good company; Army’d never think that himself after all.

Aloha hopped back to the kitchen to invade every cabinet and find big bowls for the popcorn. His first plan was to make two bags and have one per squid, then he remembered how stupid that is and how he could totally get a stupid lovey dovey moment of it was all in one bowl. Hands ‘accidentally’ touching.. he wanted to make this his own bad rom com.

Finally finding a huge bowl for cod knows what, Aloha dumps the two bags in and joins Army back in the living room. “Pick one?” the pink inkling asks. Army shakes his head no and tosses two toward Aloha.

“Pick one,” the orange inkling demands. Aloha looks them over and hands one to Army to put in the DVD player. They sit side by side and start the movie.

After the first movie was over, it took no complaining to start the second. They didn’t have much popcorn left and Aloha finally got what he wanted: Army accidentally reached for more and ended up grabbing Aloha’s hand. The second movie had barely even started so neither of them were invested enough to ignore the situation.

“How smooth of you~!” Aloha teases, so satisfied his plan worked. What he didn’t expect was Army continued holding hands. Looking Army in the eye, it was pretty clear he was frozen with embarrassment... or he was just thinking too hard about his next move.

Aloha didn’t expect to be the one getting his hand grabbed, he can’t do much in this position. Thankfully, Army collects his thoughts at least a little and rubs his thumb along Aloha’s hand.

The pink squid can’t help a little laugh, “You’re getting butter all over my hand!” In realization, Army stops and looks away in complete embarrassment. Even from this angle, Aloha could tell Army was orange from his cheeks to the tips of his ears. 

“I’m joking, I’m joking!” Aloha assures. He decides maybe changing the subject would get Army back on track. He looks out the window and says, “Think it’s time for me to go? It is getting late.”

With that said, Army quickly retracts his hand and stares at it in near disbelief. “I’m sorry, I understand if you want to,” he says shakily, too embarrassed to speak properly.

“Huh? Nah, I was giving you a chance to get rid of me. If not now then I’m staying all night!” Aloha laughs. “And we can hold hands when they’re less gross!”

Army takes a moment to respond, avoiding eye contact like Aloha would blind him if looked at. “You can stay. I’m enjoying this more than I expected.”

“Funny, I can’t say I get that a lot cause it’s usually ‘your very presence gives me a headache,’ at least that’s what Mask and Rider said last time we hung out!” Aloha jokes.

“Oh trust me, it’s a surprise for me too,” Army sighs. He didn’t really expect to do this any time soon. He had realized he was gay a long while ago when Forge called him out for sticking close to Aloha during practices. 

Usually the S4 separated and did their own thing during battles, especially Aloha and Army considering they were the front line two shooters, but Army would always stick by Aloha and splat anything that could potentially cause a threat. Forge liked to watch over their practices to help Army improve (which was much appreciated), so when she saw him getting protective, she knew something was up. He didn’t realize it right away but once he did he couldn’t stop thinking about all the other times he may have done something protective toward one of his teammates, something he never did toward any of the orange team.

Although now he realized it was just Aloha... Aloha’s the only one he’s been protective over and staring at and getting orange faced over. He hated how delusional he could get on the subject of his own feelings. In fact he added a bit to his manual just for his eyes on how to navigate his emotions.

While the movie has Aloha focused, Army gets up, washes his hands, gets a pencil, and tries to find his manual. Though the scary part is that he can’t find it... He goes through every bag of his, every drawer, every pocket, nothing.

“Are you trying to find your manual by chance?” Aloha asks from the living room.

“Yeah?” Army answers.

“Uh huh, I have it.”

Army slides into the living room with his N Zap in hand. “What have you done with it?” he mumbles. 

Aloha looks at the weapon and whistles followed with a chuckle. “Geez, didn’t expect that one. You left it on the kitchen counter so I snatched it. Clearly you were loving that last movie cause you didn’t even see me reading it.”

“Reading it?! Wh-What did you read?” Army asks, knowing how thorough he gets sometimes in his writing.

“Well since you have such a beautiful index, I flipped right to pink team’s page! Boy did you write a lot about me!” Aloha teases, pulling out the manual and flipping to his page, “My three whole teammates get a collective one page, then I alone get two whole pages! Everything is so sweet too!”

Army tries stealing it back but Aloha takes advantage of his sitting position and keeps Army away with his feet. “Aloha, give it back, this is not funny,” Army snaps.

“Could at least say please,” the pink squid says. He hands over the manual and Army immediately goes through every page to check for discrepancies. ....Nothing. He.. really didn’t do anything.

“Then.. you didn’t read anything else?” Army wonders.

“Nah, I don’t have a lot of interest in your tactics and junk. Like you wrote about me in there, I don’t have or need a plan,” Aloha throws a teasing smirk at the end which really sets Army off. What does that look mean? Especially what does it mean in relevance to what he said?!

Hesitantly, Army sits back down and puts his weapon away. Suddenly having no interest in the movie, the orange inkling flips to his secret pages and continues writing about his recent realization, his strange “crush” on Aloha. He doesn’t write much in fear of Aloha seeing, but he wrote enough to spark something later so he can continue his thought. Deciding it needs to be protected, he puts the manual in its usual spot, a drawer next to the couch with an intricate lock on it. 

By the time Army’s done focusing on his manual, Aloha was sitting back down from getting up quietly enough to be unnoticed. He had taken the empty bowl of popcorn back to the kitchen to get it out of the way.

“Hands are washed, I was promised hand holding!” Aloha demands.

“I promised you nothing!” Army fights, “You just suggested it!”

“Yeah, and you said I could stay. Plus you said that you’re in my hands! And what I want in my hands are your hands!” Aloha jokes. 

“You know damn well that’s not what that means!” 

Aloha goes for eye contact and an eyebrow raise nearly splatting Army right there. Clearly getting nowhere with this, Army submits and exposes his hand to Aloha who instantly takes it and interlaces fingers.

Although, Aloha didn’t really want to stop there. He scoots closer to Army and slightly leans his head on his shoulder. Just those two actions are enough to make the squid turn completely orange. He turns away and pinches the bridge of his nose with his free hand.

Now was Army’s best bet in getting his feelings across. For someone who watched a lot of dumb romances, he knew just how sloppy this was going to be. He takes a deep breath, looks ahead with determination, clenches his teeth, and asks, “You’re single right?”

“Yes, Army. I’m single,” Aloha answers like it was the most well known thing in all of Inkopolis. It probably was! Army didn’t spend a lot of time on social media.

Army would admit that was his wimp out question, but now he’s run out of wimp out questions! Though that answer did make him feel better, if Aloha were taken, he’d stop right then and there.

But now he had no excuse. He moves their interlinked hands near Aloha’s face, moves his whole body over the pink inkling, and successfully pins Aloha’s other wrist down on the back of the couch. With Army legs restricting the other’s legs from moving, Aloha was basically immobile.

Aloha’s face was probably the best part of it. He genuinely looked surprised, probably surprised it happened so soon. Though that was the first time Army had ever seen Aloha blush dark pink. 

“Well hey there,” Aloha mumbles out. He has no where else to look but in Army’s eyes which did bring Army to be a bit more embarrassed.

“You.. probably know this already, but I think I’ve had a huge crush on you for a long time,” Army confesses.

Aloha takes a moment to respond, he still seems frozen from shock or something. “I.. didn’t know.. actually. All night I was kinda planning on seducing you but... plans aren’t my strong suit.”

“Acting on a whim isn’t mine.. yet here I am.”

“Damn right here you are.”

“Aloha..” Army sighs and lets go of one hand to cup the other’s cheek, “am I allowed to keep going on a whim or should we both think this through?”

“When have I ever thought anything through? Think you should be the one to stop thinking,” Aloha suggests. 

The party animal really did regain his composure much faster than Army wanted.. that was enough to make Army want to make Aloha embarrassed again.

“I dunno, maybe I shouldn’t...” Army teases. He gently runs his thumb along Aloha’s bottom lip as he cups his face. “I have no experience anyway, I bet you don’t even want me!” his tone sells just how fake he’s being. He must have learned this from Aloha, he couldn’t have just picked this up himself.

Aloha’s reaction was just what Army was looking for. He somehow became even more pink than before and his hand was getting sweaty. “Full turnaround but this is not how I expected this night to go,” Aloha mumbled with a bit of a shiver. “I planned on being in your position and holding nothing back but you’re really laying the teasing on thick!”

“I was hoping you’d be too enamored to talk but I forgot that’s part of the package,” Army sighs. A chuckle from the orange inkling made Aloha shut up though. It felt like there was silence but they both knew there wasn’t, the tv was still playing a loud rom com. The lighting from the tv made it all the more interesting though.

Army gave up propping himself on his knees and decided to just sit down in Aloha’s lap. Pinning Aloha seemed a bit unreasonable now so he let their still linked hands fall to their sides.

“Tired? Haven’t done much to earn being tired..” Aloha jokes, getting a hold of himself.

“Well I was trying to be all romantic but I let it drag too long and you started talking and now I’m just embarrassed and emotionally exhausted. Way to go both of us,” Army cheers half heartedly.

Aloha shrugs and reaches an arm around to rub Army’s back. “We can start over if you want. I sure wouldn’t mind.”

“No Aloha.. don’t think that’ll help.”

“Then how bout I’m on top, we go with my original plan but not really a plan cause I thought of it maybe thirty minutes ago,” Aloha jokes.

“Nope, I’m here now and you’re not moving me on bottom.”

“Not today at least.”

“Aloha.”

“Sorry! Sorry!”

Army takes a deep breath and decides looking Aloha in the eye may help him. It was a bit embarrassing but it helped Army realize what he wanted, stylish or not.

He leans in, closes his eyes, and shakily their lips meet. Aloha didn’t hesitate to try and escalate it a bit, leaning in further and leaving his mouth open a bit. Unintentionally however, it made Army pull away and cover his mouth.

“Your... your bottom fang cut my lip...” Army mumbles. That innocent demeanor instantly broke Aloha’s hearts. 

“I’m sorry! I’ll keep my mouth shut!” Aloha promises, his face turning a bright shade of pink. Even though his lip was definitely bleeding, the orange squid had no intention of missing out on another embarrassed Aloha face.

Army shakes his head and sighs. “I’m sorry in advance,” he says as he uses his hand on Aloha’s chin to pull his mouth open a little. Army took his chance for a second kiss and tried being a little more risky on his moves. Aloha takes no time understanding and begins fighting back just as riskily.

Aloha uses his free hand to pull Army’s waist closer and gently chuckles as their lips are still together. He pulls back to breathe and ends up laughing into Army’s neck. “You don’t pull any punches!” Aloha breathes. “Have you done this before?”

“Never,” Army admits. 

“Could’ve fooled me,” Aloha assures.

Army kind of relishes in that compliment for a second but asks, “So then you’ve done this before?”

Aloha shrugs and steals a quick kiss, “I don’t think it matters all that much. I know no one else could compare to you...”

He didn’t expect anything like this. Army thought hanging out with Aloha meant being forced to the beach and doing something stupid. But here he was in his own apartment, being seduced by Aloha, and doing something stupid. 

Army doesn’t wait anymore, he somewhat hungrily goes in for another passionate kiss that lasted long enough they both had to stop to catch their breaths. Aloha, almost always confident, looked shocked and even enamored by the boy in front of him.. It made Army unreasonably happy.

“Hey can we like.. date? Right now? Like, I wanna be boyfriends right now,” Aloha stammers.

Army relishes in that uncertain tone he’s broken Aloha to.. “I dunno... you kinda tore my lip... and as we both know, I could pop like a balloon any second. Not very date worthy of you...”

“Ah!! Really?! I never paid attention in class, I thought-“ Aloha catches himself and really thinks for a second how played he’s getting. “I didn’t expect you of all squids to make me stutter like that but here we are.”

“Still wanna date me?”

“More than ever...”


End file.
